Little Wins in Little Moments

I have figured out my biggest hurdle -  Waking up in the morning without the push of an appointment. If I had somewhere to be, I am there, even if it means talking to my self into not flaking.

I flake on myself too much because I don't get bothered about my own approval. Make sense? Well, if I flaked on someone else, I might be a little bothered about the impression I'm creating with the person. But when it comes to me, I give myself all kinda excuses to cut myself some slacker slack. That kinda thing takes a toll, and sooner than you can say 'Memphis Minnie ' s BBQ got good ribs' (and they do!), you start losing respect for yourself, and that leads to alot of shaming and refusing to do dress-up cause you 'don't look no matter what you do'. Yup. I've been there.  I'm actually feeling a little like that now. But I'm glad I'm pushing myself by basically working on it moment by moment.

Like today. I wanted to give up ten minutes into my walk/run/jog/nearly - faint session on the treadmill but I push myself towards the end. I do feel a little disheartened because 7 weeks ago I could jog the 1/2 hour without stopping but little wins. I didn't make it through my abs exercise set because I didn't eat before my 3pm gym session because I woke up at noon. Now that's the part I really need to start talking (read: shouting in my mother's voice) at me. I'm making excuses for the times I was weak. Well tomorrow - I'm trying to be up and about at 6 am.  I did talk myself away from Starbucks and Safeway's read made food items, so money saved there.

Little Wins.

So target tomorrow:-
1. Wake up at 6 am and go for a jog
2. Spend nothing (unless it's bills of course)

I'm also trying to fill my time with volunteering. I know I always talk myself out if commitments or tryng at life for fear of awkwardness. But I have decided to adopt the clichéd, 'life is an adventure' mantra. Try everything. Although that IS in direct contrast to my diet plans. Might have to rethink my mantra. Calculated adventure? Hmmmm

Anyway, just to end this post off, I'd like to say that I saw a 'feel-good' movie that made me feel so fuzzy inside. And no... it's not the whitewashed 'Aloha'. It's Boy Meet Girl on Netflix. It's a story revolving a Transgendered girl that you just want to watch. Caitlyn Jenner would approve.

Ok good night.
Peace, love, and ice cream
Ju