It's like closing a chapter.
It's painful.
Really very painful.
But I've hung on for too long.
All the times when I felt suffocated.
I knew I had to leave.
But nothing prepared me for the pain.
I cannot put into words the extent of the hurt.
Walking away from a dream is the last thing I ever imagined myself to do.
But yet again, reality had its way.
But more than anything, it feels like a new beginning.
I feel scared but yet liberated.
I never knew that the ecstacy of liberation can come with immense heart wrenching pain.
I refuse to talk about it too much.
Cause talking about only pulls me backwards.
What is done, is decided, is done.
Now I need to live with my decision.
All I ask of the Divine is to guide me into this journey of tomorrow.
Of unknown.
And to give me the strength to not crumble beneath the weight of the
pain that wraps me every night.
Mostly, I ask of her the ability sleep.
Even if it's in between sobs.
I think a few months away from all these will do me some good.
A few months on my own will help me feel better about myself
and maybe heal all the hurt that I've tried to hide.
